Awesomeness

Duk can be a strong willed child.  She is particular about what she wants, doesn’t want and doesn’t hesitate to tell me.  I am extremely lucky in that my kids do not ever have fit if I don’t get them something at the store.  Neither one has ever had a tantrum over material goods at a store.  I often forget how lucky I am through the long fits of whining.  Yes, they are whiner and they are very good at it.  That being said, Duk reminded me once again of her awesomeness.  She really wanted to go see Disney on Ice (the Princess show).  Has asked and mentioned it three times.  She even said she’d pay for it with her birthday money that her uncle gave to her. The cost of it is ridiculous and now with our financial situation taking a very big plunge, we just can’t afford it.  I asked Duk if it would be okay if we didn’t end up going.  Her, in her wisdom and maturity said, “Oh, it’s okay Mommy.  I know you want to take me.  But we can have just as much fun going to the playground, or the pool or anything else.  It’s okay.  Can we see [friend] again?”

Yeah, she’s pretty neat.

Bugger

I forgot to mention in my last post that the first evening we moved into our condo, I broke down in tears and almost had a melt down.  The stress, and two evenings of restlessness were already affecting my mood but to walk into our brand new place to find the kitchen infested with cockroaches just took me over the edge.  I broke down and cried, bitched about how I did not move down from a third world country in a house that had no bugs to a place that has *extra tenants*!  I haven’t lived in a place with roaches since I moved out of the ghetto!  Plus with the amount of rent we pay, this was unacceptable for us.  Needless to say, the landlord was very understanding and has ensured us that the problem will be taken care of.  The exterminator has come by twice and I will call him one more time.  Did you know that new born roaches are actually white?  Me neither.  Not until this morning when I saw them scatter everywhere as soon as I turned on the kitchen light.  *sigh*

CSI Miami (Cool, Sunny and Insane)

As I was unpacking part of our shipment from the island, I hung up a yellow dress shirt my Grandmother bought for the Geek many years ago.  She was thrilled he had just graduated from Optometry school and in her generous nature, gave him all the money she had on hand to buy some new professional clothes.  I often think of her and her positive nature, especially during times of hardship.

My last post was more than miserable I know.  It was a real downer at that time and I know some time has passed since my last post.  Well, I am doing a little better.  The big news is that I am back in the States and just soaking up all the amenities I did without for 16 months.  Stuff like central AC, a dishwasher, running hot water, clean water our of the tap I can drink,  driving on paved roads, super markets, etc.

As Mama Nabi has pointed out, the driver here are CRAZY!!!  They will make left turns from the outer right lane, cut lanes across without signaling and people here really get a lot of use out of their car horns.  I am not a whimpy driver but Miami greater area certainly has given me challenges.

Insane start here in FL.  We got in a few weeks ago and weren’t able to move into our condo immediately.  We bought your tickets off the island back in May because we wanted to make sure we could get tickets (a lot of the times tickets sell out and you’re waiting to get off the island).  The Geek’s plan was to fly into FL, initially get settled into an apartment, he’d leave the next day to Canada to get a car so that we would have a vehicle to drive around here.  We were suppose to stay with my friend K for 5 days and then find either an extended stay hotel or a vacation condo for the remaining 3 nights until our condo was vacant.  My friend, being the kind and generous person she is, let us stay at her place until we needed to move into our place.  She was so big hearted that she allowed us to stay with her for free, bought most of the food to cook at home (and save money), did most of the cooking and allowed my MIL to stay in addition to our family.  We were ready to move to another place temporarily but she insisted we stay.  It was going to save us time, money and make it an easier adjustment for the girls.  She also had to be out of the place by the 31st because her lease with the landlord would end then.  In return for her generosity, I offered to help her pack and move.  Not that I am not grateful for her kindness but I WORKED for our stay.

My friend is a highly intelligent, hardworking, and confident woman who’s drive is unquestionable. Unfortunately, two months ago she lost her job.  She had only been at this job for five months before the company laid her off.  As a result, she needed out of her lease and move back home to figure out what she wanted to do.  She told me over and over again that she was okay and that she was going to find a job she’d enjoy doing instead of doing a job just to make money.  I think she’s depressed and not sharing it with me.  You see, she has a bit of an addiction.  From the moment she wakes up to the moment she lays her head on the pillow to sleep, she is high.  She smokes weed all day – morning, noon and night.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not against smoking weed (hey, I’m from Canada, it’s legal over there) but when it affects your daily life, how you function and think, I think it’s a problem.  She could not focus on one task at a time.  She would get moody and snap at me if I told her something she didn’t want to hear and then giggle or burst out in laughter a moment later.  She even lit up in the car (sans kids) when we were going to get our hair cut without asking if it would be okay.  Fortunately, she did not smoke in front or around the kids.  She’d go for a walk or she’d just smoke when we were out.

Because her thought processes were out of whack, so was her concept of time and space.  She initially was going to give me some of her clothes and show and pack the rest in boxes and ship them out on the plane with her.  10 boxes max she says.  She started packing on Sat night (she needed to be out by Monday).  She would pack one box, take a few drags from her bong in her closet and then start something else.  It was driving me insane.  Then we saw all the stuff she had in the closets.  There was no way she would get it in 10 boxes; she had two huge chairs, two big book cases, a 6 ft long mirror and a 6 gt wall decor piece, 6 lamps, a dresser, 10 boxes of clothes, shoes, jewelry, little nick knacks of stuff and much, much more that I can remember.  The Geek finally convinced her to put it in storage.   That was a night mare too.  The HOA would not allow her to move her stuff on a Sunday.  So she could only move the boxes and two huge suitcases.  I do not lie when I tell you that she was calling moving trucks on Sunday evening for the next day.  Remember, she was suppose to be out of her apartment by 2:00 pm the next day.  She’s not stressed, I haven’t slept for two days.   To make a long story short, she did get herself moved out by WEDNESDAY morning.  I met with her and drive her to the airport.  I love her but is it mean to say I was a little relieved to see her go?  She’s a mess and I don’t know how to help her…

Life here is settling down.  Duk likes her school.  She pointed out that not only is she the ONLY Asian in her class, she’s also the only one who can’t speak Spanish.  The kids keep telling her she’s Chinese but she’s still so innocent, she isn’t affect by it.  Unlike mommy whose Asian fury is about to bust out!   She is also the youngest kid in her class . We asked them to move her up a grade because she missed the birthday cut off by 14 days AND she had already complete first grade work back in Dominica.  Besides the Spanish work, she finds the rest of the curriculum pretty easy to follow.  Kook is loving the time spent at home with me.  We are looking into part time daycare this week.  I am still unemployed but I hope that will change soon.  Keep your figures crossed for me.

More updates to come.

Broken

Warning – it’s a pity session for me and if it annoys you, please press the *X* on the upper right hand corner.

I feel like my spirit is broken. It seems as though life’s journey takes me in a difficult direction at the most inconvenient time.  I didn’t sleep at all last night.  I am overwhelmed and feel alone.  Alone defined in many different ways…

Missing

As we get closer and closer to leaving this island, we still have not secured housing.  It’s kind of making me nervous but I’m sure something will work out.

In the meantime, I’ve thought about all the things I won’t miss about living here and here is just a short list

1. The brown muddy water that comes out of the tap after heavy rainfall.  This means no doing dishes (well, that’s plus), no cooking that requires boiling or washing of foods,  no shower, and no laundry.

2.  Carrying four empty 5 liter plastic water bottles to fill up with filtered water at the school canpus so we can have drinking water at school.

3. Cooking in the heat.  I love to cook but seriously cooking in the heat, with sweat dripping down my back with the stove/oven on to add to the heat can sometimes be unbearable.

4.Eating in the heat .  I always feel so bad when I see my girls eating dinner at the kitchen table with sweat dripping into their food.  It’s that hot.

5. The random mosquitoes, sand flies and other biting bugs.  They are inside the grocery stores, the classrooms, the daycare, our house…our car.   I am constantly itchy .  They make Kook grow welts on her body from the allergic reaction to the venom.  You can draw pictures on their legs by connecting the dots together.:)

6. Stressing out about how much electricity I am using.  Power is so expensive here.  Let’s just say I will be pretty vigilant about turning things off when I get back to the States.  I sweat it out in the heat to resist turning on the A/C.

7. Having less than an 1/8 of a tank of gas in the car because the island has run out of gasoline and you can’t get any for several days.

8.  Running out of propane gas in the middle of baking something and can’t get more because again the island is out of propane gas.  It makes it difficult to cook anything.

Things I will miss about living here.

1) The people – not only the Dominicans who are kind, gentle people but the friends I have made here.  Without their support, there’s not way I could have made it here on my own.

2) The simple life – since there isn’t much to buy here, you don’t have many expenses.  You don’t stress about the bills and other things you’d normally worry about back at home.  You pay your rent, buy your groceries and purchase power when you need it.  TV and internet are usually included with the places you rent out here so what else do you need, right?

3) The calmness of it all. Miami will be hectic I know.

4) Being spoiled – I have time to work out five days a week. I have a spinning class instructor 1 day a week, circuit training twice a week and a personal trainer twice a week.  Can’t beat what they charge either (personal trainer is about $5USD an hour, circuit training was $17.50USD for the semester).

5) Personal time – lot of that when you don’t have much to do. Sometimes this can be scary too because some of the time is spent in deep depression.

I am looking forward to going back to the States however I am a little nervous.  I hate change and shit, this is big change.  I’ve started looking and applying for jobs.  I didn’t think I’d be working while we were in FL but I think it make sense.  I ‘m just looking at options so I can choose what I want to do.  I was in a small, all boys private school and now I’m looking at the job postings for Chemistry and/or Math teachers and I’m so lost.  I have all my documents and transcripts back in Memphis or in Toronto so I can’t even send stuff to get FL certification in teaching.  I taught in a private school in TN so I didn’t have a TN teaching certificate because I didn’t need one.  I’d love to teach in a private school again but I don’t know where to start the search.  Can’t get the certification since I don’t have all my documents.  Heck, I don’t even have a freaking address yet.  We’re working on this last part.

Okay, done venting.

Busy busy

I haven’t posted in a while…been so busy preparing for the move off the island but mostly just procrastination.  The stress of moving is overwhelming and I’m mentally exhausted.  Finding a place in Miami is difficult. No short term lease, no places under $1200/mth (ha ha, don’t laugh) in good schooling areas, many of the agents don’t speak English, many of them don’t return my calls and mostly, I am stressed because I haven’t found a place.  I will be living in a hotel forever if I don’t find something for us.

Had initially decided to go to the next county north of Miami-Dade but decided the commute for early morning classes would be too long.  Wanted to go to some of the beach condos and again, too far.  It sucks to want a nice place and have limitations.  It’s been so long since I’ve rented so I don’t know what happens if we sign a one year lease and have to break it.  What’s in store for our future?  Where’s the money tree my hubby is hiding from me? Decisions, decisions, decisions…

Have I made the right decision to go to FL vs MI?  Will I ever know?  My brain is swirling around with so many thoughts, I haven’t been able to sleep very well.  All my time is consumed with finding an apt.  I’m miserable and short tempered with the kids.  *Sigh*

Happy Father’s Day

To all the dads out there.  Especially to my husband The Geek who I still love and respect as always, if not more.  I thank him for his patience with me, my faults and bearing with me, my shortcomings as a mother.   I thank him for being the father I always dreamed I wanted for my kids.  And honey, it’ll be okay if Kook doesn’t punch like an MMA fighter.:p

Competitive

Is it wrong when your daughter pulls the braid of another child to prevent said child from getting the toss ring first?  Yeah, I thought so too.  I was embarrassed and I hope it will never happen again. It happened at the pool the other day and I really needed to breath to ease the exact moment of shock and anger I felt.  I think Duk gets it.  I hope she gets it.

The Love Song

The Love Song or poem

I love you you are

the best I want

you to stay with me

forever because I

Love you so much

and you make me

smile.  I Love you to much

Thank you so much with

your love.

-Duk, 5 years old~June 13, 2009

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