August 13, 2010

A Different World

Posted in family, useless stuff at 8:14 am by mom2divas

Phew…. It seems like I spend days not doing much but then I don’t have the time to post updates.  Okay, maybe it’s time to ease off Facebook. :-p

We’re settling in just fine.  the girls love being in a house with space.  They aren’t as whiny, they love their space and toys (we took all of it out of storage).

Life in Miami isn’t over yet.  My parents decided to invest in some property over there and I helped them buy a condominium from the condo complex we were renting.  It was literally a steal.  My parents bought it for 1/3 of what the previous owner paid.  I’ll be “managing” the place until the market picks up.  It makes me nervous because first, it’s my parents’ money and second, our luck in finances hasn’t been the best. Fingers crossed.

Dealing with our agent has been less than pleasant.  I don’t think she has a lot of experience.  Either that or she’s not very smart. I would relay information to her and she wouldn’t communicate it properly to the seller’s agent. It was a short sale purchase and when it was approved, initially I wanted to close on the deal by the end of July. Reevaluating the situation, closing on the 13th of August would have been more ideal. So I asked her several times if that would be okay and she assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem.  A week before the initial closing date, she calls to tell me that the sellers’ agent has said we can’t close any later than the 3oth. WTF?!?  I told her there was no way my parents can get their assets cashed to purchase the condo by this time. Legally we were able suppose to close before or on Aug 21. After speaking to my parents, Aug 10th was the new date.  Both agents agree, date set, easy change.  Five days later, I get a call from said agent giving me the final HUD statement closing on Aug 6th.  Excuse me but I said August 10th.  There were issues with who would get rent money from the current tenant, numbers on the HUD statement (they over charged us about $250) and contracts with the tenants.  I was able to get a signed leased without paying a finder’s fee to both the agents.  I am not paying $1500 split in half to two agents who can’t get their shit together.  The bumps along the road have been worked out and I guess we are owners of a piece of property in Miami. 🙂

Living in this area has been different.  Duk has a “friend” from down the street who comes over to play.  I have NO problems with friends coming over to our house because I can monitor the kids, and make sure they are playing fair and safely and are fed.  This friend has asked Duk to come over to her house to play but I have had to say no.  Her parents don’t know where she is, if she comes or goes or whose house she visits. So I know that if they aren’t watching their daughter, they sure as hell aren’t going to be watching mine.  I also get frustrated with this little kid because when she leaves the house, she doesn’t say bye or even lets anyone know that she’s leaving.  Excuse, what the hell ever happen to manners??  Apparently it’s not emphasized in the house.  We see her at the bus stop every morning and I always greet her, “Hi [J], Good morning.”  No response, no answer, nothing.  Her mother doesn’t say anything either.  Yeah different. The parents way of tracking her is make sure she wears her cell phone so they can call her when they need to get a hold of her.

I think some of the parents in the neighbourhood are either intimidated by me or they assume I don’t speak Korean.  Although they speak Korean amongst themselves, there is eye shifting and heads turn when I approach. Yes, most of the moms only speak Korean and/or very little English. I know I could easily be the first one to start conversation but I’m shy. Now I’m just indifferent. Sigh….

I also have bittersweet feeling about being here too.  I’m now back with the “spouses’ club” from Medical School.  There are many families living in the area who were on the island many, many months ago.  I thought I wouldn’t see, interact with many of them but somehow most of us ended up here. So now I am in a position where I get invitations to attend play dates at the park or at people’s house and I don’t want to go.  I also don’t want to come across as snobby.  I like one or two of the wives but am indifferent with the rest of them.  It’s tiresome for me to go to these play dates because I feel I have to be so fake with them – pleasant, nice, cordial and hold back who I am. I haven’t gone to one of these play dates.  Yesterday, a friend of mine hosted a mom’s night out at her place. I wasn’t going to go because of who was all going but I forced myself because honestly, I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.

It was a pleasant evening but it made me realize so much more how little I have in common with these folks.  And how little they care for me as well. I left feeling…. I don’t know, kind of disappointed.

One of the ladies was living in Miami when I was there and I reached out to her because I thought we were friends back on the island.  Totally snubbed.  Not once did she call or email me.  Now its awkward being here and having to see her again.  I don’t know what to think.

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1 Comment »

  1. kp said,

    I still amazes me when parents are so laid back about their own children’s comings and goings. I don’t even let my kids play in the front yard unless one of us is out there with them. In this day and age with child molesters and predators everywhere? Crazy.

    I can imagine how frustrating the friend situation must be for you. I’ve been out here for over 8 years and still haven’t found any close friends. I have to drive and make a day trip to see my real friends. People are so cliquey and hard to connect with.


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